There are two types of people when back-to-school season hits: the ones who view it as a fresh start and the ones who view it as the beginning of the end. This list of back-to-school horror is for the latter. The only proper way to celebrate this time of year is to revisit some of my favourite horror that just screams, ‘Get me the hell out of here!’
1. I Know What You Did Last Summer
I know summer is right in the title, but this one is a must-watch for me every Labour Day. To start off your back-to-school season, you need to give the summer a proper farewell. It’s called closure. Start the film and centre your experience in gratitude. Remember that no matter how bad life gets, at least you didn’t run a poor man down with your car. And that’s something too.
I Know What You Did Last Summer follows four friends about to leave for college. As they close out summer, they happen to also hit a pedestrian with their car. Like any teenager would, they dump the body in the ocean and pretend it never happened. After trying (and failing) to move on with their lives, they begin receiving mysterious messages and are stalked by a figure seeking revenge.
2. Carrie
High school is hard. High school with telekinetic powers in rural Maine is harder. Carrie is based on the King novel by the same name, and if you need a reminder that back-to-school can get much worse, this is it. Carrie White is simply a tormented girl (both at home and at school). And after you watch what can only be described as the worst way for a girl to get her period, you’re going to realize why this is the ultimate Good For Her film. Watch a nice girl get pushed to her limits and unleash rage on her classmates in this absolute classic.
3. The Craft
Extracurriculars are a fundamental part of your academic experience. If those extracurriculars happen to be witchcraft, that’s no one’s business. The Craft follows four social outcasts who form a coven at school, but power isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There are dark consequences to the dark arts, and if anyone is able to manage it, it’s probably not four girls who still need a note to get out of gym class. Buckle in for this one and take the time to remember that school is not just about grades. Sometimes, the real learning comes with the dark powers you meet along the way.
4. Clown in a Cornfield
While Clown in a Cornfield feels like more of a summertime horror, I think this film captures the absolute (social) terror of entering a new school very well. Although, in hindsight, my first day in a new school involved significantly fewer clowns slicing apart my friends. In this one, teens must band together to survive a night of horror and hopefully figure out who’s slicing the town’s youths apart. It’s a fun clown slasher for people who aren’t in love with Art The Clown, and the book was a five-star read for me.
5. The Crucible
Stay with me! If you’re entering a new school year and a spooky soul, maybe the best thing to do is get ahead on some of that English Lit homework. I read The Crucible in high school and still enjoy rereading it around this time of year, which makes this the perfect movie to end our back-to-school marathon with. Widespread paranoia is the main character of this one. When girls are caught being a bunch of silly gooses (communing with Satan), they try to avoid punishment by accusing others of witchcraft. Also, Winona Ryder. Bonus points if you dance naked in the woods to celebrate the change of the season.
The school year doesn’t have to be full of terror. But if it is, hopefully these movies will help you remember that you’re not alone. So grab your popcorn, turn off the lights, and escape the crushing weight of academic trauma with some fabulous back-to-school horror!
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