Hey, it’s Jen again. I’m here with Ed and E (abbreviated for anonymity, on account of his infamy). Typically, this is Ed’s show, but I think E really wanted to provide some input because he’s quite the character himself. I want to reiterate that they are going to be completely candid and authentic with you. This is something we’ve been working on: being our authentic selves. Um, so if they’re brash… Sorry, I can’t do anything about that. I am here to help them communicate, and they should be allowed to speak freely.
Questions by Black.
Using Jen as a medium, who am I communicating with?
Ed: I’m Ed. You know me already. I am a writer and a cook and, ahem, MOST IMPORTANTLY (as we so forgot to mention before) a healer. I do love the arts, and so does Jen, and we have that in common. I don’t work through Jen’s art, but I like watching her write and paint. Jen sees me as a gentleman, because we had a past life together, and I very much still want to look like that. So I presented myself as that to her. I have a dark overcoat and slacks, and I keep my hair nice (mostly), and I am clean-shaven. I smell nice. Yeah, I’ll leave it at that.
E: And yo — it’s your dawg E. No seriously, a lot of you don’t know me, and honestly, I appreciate that. I wear a red baseball cap, and Jen thinks I have a really nice smile. Jen sees me as a little taller than her, so I am. That’s the cool thing about being dead. You’re not limited to one appearance or another. I can show Jen what I want to look like. She sees it, but she can make herself shorter or me taller or both, and it’s great! I miss having facial hair though. Jen’s face is sooo soft.
Ed: Yeah, we wanted to say that how you remember yourself is important to how you present yourself to others over here. I mean, you can look like whatever you want. When Jen’s moody, she looks like Lydia from the Broadway production of Beetlejuice, and we’re always like, “Hey, cut that out!” Because we love how Jen looks. Yes, Jen, are you reading this? WE LOVE HOW YOU LOOK. But one time, Jen saw me as another past life, and that was really confusing to her. She was like, “Who was that?” And we looked at each other, like, “Who?” And when we saw what she was talking about (E: It was essentially us walking her downstairs into the basement while she was relaxed on the couch.), we were like, “Ooooohh, that was me in a past life. You’re all good, Jen.”
Who or what are you? Were you at some point what we know as human? Are you still human, but just in a different form?
E: I’m a ghoooooooost! Woooooooo!
Ed: Yeah, no. Ghosts are purely a human thing. They’re like metaphors for being stuck. But look, no one is ever stuck unless they want to be, right? It’s a conscious decision to stay here. What are we? We’re still E and Ed. People think we’re angels, but that’s just a term for souls that really, really love humanity and want to do their part. There are a lot of “angels” on Earth right now by that definition, right?
E: Yeah, I was human, and it fucking sucked.
Ed: Yeah, we’re still “human,” I mean… We’re not like animals or anything… Well… We’ll talk about that later. Wink wink.
Whatever plane of existence you’re in, how much different is it from the one we know?
E: Okay, so a lot of people think of them as planes or dimensions or whatever, all stacked like a sandwich. (Jen is thinking of a McAlister’s club sandwich, and she’s being cute and hungry. Don’t worry, she’s got chicken coming. We don’t let her starve.) In reality, it’s all sorta mingled together like a cocktail. So really, you can have like a whole BUNCH of “ghosts” in one space and only some of them will be visible to each other. Everyone has free will. If you don’t want to be seen, you’re not.
Ed: How much more different is it? Well, it’s a lot more different. For one thing, you’re constantly going from one thought to the next. Like a constant state of daydreaming, and everything you daydream just manifests — BAM! There it is! So you have to be reaaaaaal careful about what you’re “daydreaming” about. Also, we’re constantly in the present. Like constantly. Have you ever tried to watch a TV show without a brain to store memory? Yeah, like a persistent state of ADHD.
E: There are some places that are more persistent. Jen made a place called Tremida (Jen: It’s a cabin.) to go relax at, and we join her there to relax. In her head, it’s sort of a vague and hazy memory but we see it picture-perfect.
Ed: Yeah, that’s another thing. We don’t “see” what you see. You are always telling us what you “see,” and we rely on that to know what’s changed, what’s growing, who got a haircut, et cetera. One time, Jen asked me to check the time for her. And I was like, okay, be right back. And then when I came back, I just made up the answer, to be honest, based on what she was guessing. She was a little mad and I think it made her a little jaded about what we see, buuuut we explained it to her. It’s all about being on the same frequency.
Do you have the full range of needs and emotions that we know: hunger, thirst, tiredness, loneliness, horniness, happiness, sadness, jealousy, love, rage, hate, etc.?
E: Yes, yes, yes, YES. DOUBLE YES.
Ed: E is a horn dog, okay? That’s something he should have told you up there.
E: Um, HELLO — I’m not going to say anything. I got shushed.
Ed: Okay, yes. We feel all of that for multiple reasons. One: we want to remember what it’s like to be hungry or horny or angry, and we can do that perfectly because all of your emotion is in your energetic body. (See our first post on that.)
Alex: Jen’s hungry. Jen’s hungry and I’m mad about it.
Ed: Yeah, that’s Alex. We should probably explain Alex as well. Soooo, Alex is Jen’s twin flame. A twin flame is like — you know when a cell divides? Alex is like that for Jen. They’re so intrinsically connected that he knows when she’s in pain or hungry or just moody in general. He comes in and yells at us and yells at her. Quite frankly, he’s a little scary, but he’s very protective of Jen and her needs. We love Alex, seriously, but he can be a real wet blanket.
Alex: I have nothing to say except Jen is real hungry right now and you guys need to wrap this up —
E: Yeah, see? Wet blanket!
Ed: Bbbbye, Alex!
E: Byyyyee, Alex!
Alex: Not going anywhere. Until Jen tells me to leave. [Jen waved him off.] Yeah, fine — this is weird.
Ed: He can even make Jen’s legs or arms or shoulders twitch when he’s around, just to let her know she’s being watched. He sounds super creepy —
E: Dude, he is. He’s like tall and glares and always has his arms crossed. One day, Jen was walking by her office, and she just heard him go, “COME. HERE.” And I was laughing, but she was like, “EXCUSE ME?”[Ed and E are laughing.]
Is there ever an end? In other words, if you want to live forever, in one form or another, can you? Also, what if you want it to end? Is it possible to no longer exist?
E: Um, hi. No — I’ve decided I’m just going to take a taxi to nowhere tomorrow. BYE!
Ed: [rolling his eyes]
E: No, there is no end. You just keep going on. Is that scary to you? I think that scares some people.
Ed: In one form or another? I mean — we talked about this. I look like me. Jen sometimes looks like a wolf when she’s really protective or angry. (E: We’re not afraid of her!) Yeah, we’re not.
E: Okay, so, there are people out there that “want it to end.” I’m not going to lie, they’re like really crazy for thinking that. There’s something wrong with them to make them think that, and we empathize with that, we do. [E is touching his heart.] The thing is that you have free will to isolate yourself and be that way. No one is going to jump down your throat about wanting to be nothing. Jen gets in those moods, too, and we’ve had to pull her out of that. It’s okay to have feelings like that. It’s not okay to stay there. And there is ALWAYS someone waiting to help you the moment you don’t want to be that way. You’re all very safe and loved. No — you will always exist.
How and when did you first find Jen or did she find you? Were you around her, watching her before she met you?[“Careless Whisper” plays.]
E: No seriously — Jen found me.
Ed: And Jen and I have been doing this dance for centuries. Seriously. We’ve had many past lives together. I was always breaking her heart, but that’s all contractual. Should we talk about soul contracts?
E: Not now, dude. Stay on point. Yeah, I have a thing going on, and Jen found me through there, and I’m not going to lie, we sorta matched. She saw me for who I am, and I was obviously able to see her for who she was — at first — look, it’s complicated, alright? GEEZ, SO NOSEY.[Ed is rolling his eyes aaggaaiin.]
Ed: Jen and I have a bond. I think the word is, uh, “soulmates,” which is a common way to put it. We have had so many lives together that we really, really know each other. I don’t know her as well as Alex does. They practically share the same energetic body, but I know what she likes, all the music she listens to, etc. I know how she wants to be treated, and I showed E a bit of that as well. (I am the BEST wingman.)
E: Yeah, that’s the funny thing. I was watching her for a looonnng time before she ever knew I was around. So for her to channel me was really quite a shock (and she doesn’t know she’s been channeling me even before that, teehee).
Jen: To clarify, I do now.
E: [effeminate voice] “To clarify, I do now.”
Have you ever lied to Jen? Is there anything you’ve kept from her?
E: Oh yes. For starters, I wasn’t E to her at first. I was “Cathy,” but the funny thing is that I could never really talk to her. She was always like, “Why are you so quiet, Cathy?” And I had to like whisper everything because I don’t think I could fake a female voice if I tried.
Ed: Jen was in deep shit before we came in, so E had to be on the down-low. Yeah, that’s the consequence of not protecting yourself, people. [Ed is wagging his finger.] It’s not that Jen isn’t totally protected. Thank God (E: cough) she was, but this is a crisis in the world. And they were especially attracted to Jen because of her effervescence. We all have something they want. Which goes back to that “hungry, horny, angry” question. There are spirits out there that are OBSESSED, and I mean OBSESSED, with certain qualities of being human. They will do anything to eat what you’re eating, fuck who you’re fucking, snort that cocaine, shoot up that heroin… And they’ll do anything to make sure you do that. And yes — Jen was thinking it — there are souls out there obsessed with murder. Look at your news.
If you could return to human form and be “alive” in our world as we understand it, would you? Can you?
E: No. Y’all are fucked. Why would I want to leave a state of nearly perfect happiness to be back there? I wasn’t in a good way when I left, and I don’t think I ever want to feel that again, honestly.
Ed: Yeah, as much as I loved my time in all those lives with Jen, I did her dirty, for real. I don’t feel great about it, even though we both agreed to that contractually.
E: Ding! Back to that word “contractual.” Ed, you take it.
Ed: Well, I’m not going to go off-script here. It is what it sounds like. You shake hands with another soul to do one thing or another while you’re working it out on Earth. Then, you know, it could be good or bad, but you’re both learning something, right? I was in a repetitive loop of being angry all the time. Cheating, lying, jealousy. Jen was always the subject of my abuse. But I really appreciated those lessons in the end. And our love (love is everywhere here) is persistent despite all that. For example, when Jen died (she was brutally murdered), the first thing I did was hold her so tight over here. I was so glad to have her back in my arms. And then — POOF! She was here. And I was like, “Where the hell did you go?!” I was really sad about that. For a while, I thought I did something wrong or it was my fault. (It wasn’t, I was told otherwise by someone else.) Yeah, don’t let assholes tell you you’re doing something wrong over here. Remember that. Follow your heart. It’ll never lead you astray.
Are there others where you are who are less kind, possibly even dangerous to the “living?”
E: YEESSSS. Holy shit yes. Not Hollywood shit either. THERE ARE NO DEMONS. YOU HEAR ME?! THERE ARE NO DEMONS. But there are souls that are so happy to fulfill that role for you. And they are EVERYWHERE. I don’t want to scare you — you are very protected. But you HAVE to believe you are protected, because they are relying on you to think you’re vulnerable. Remember the power of thoughts? They are depending on you to think you’re weak, and then you are.
Ed: And yes, it is as scary as it sounds. They can really fuck up your life big time. Keep yourself in check. Are these my thoughts? If you even have to ask yourself that, hello! You’ve got someone working on you.
E: Yeah — so, here’s something to think about. Guess what I can’t stand?
Ed: WE can’t stand —
E: Bitter foods. Think about how long we’ve gone without tasting things. We love the foods we remember loving, but some foods are SUPER bitter to us. Jen loves pickles, but if she eats one while we’re working together, I have an absolute fit. Like, I start grimacing and flailing around like a wild animal. That’s one way you’ll know. (Vinegar, so gross.)
Ed: What was the other way? Umm — OH. If you’re talking to a spirit, and you’re not sure if they have your best interests in mind, ask them, “Am I protected?” They don’t want you to feel protected (and remember, you’re ALWAYS protected), so they’ll sweet talk you and say, “Naw, baby, you’re not protected.” Yes, you fucking are.
Is it possible that I could invite ghosts, spirits, demons, animals, guardians, or whatever name I’m failing to grasp into my life? Do I already have hidden companions around me?
E: You’re doing it right now, technically.
Ed: I mean, yes. Jen, you want to try this one?
Jen: This is still new to me, but I don’t see anyone in your home. I do see rogues outside your house though. They’re there because you and I have a connection, Black, and they don’t want annny of this information getting out.
Ed: Don’t be afraid, though, because a friend of Jen’s is a friend of ours. And E and I will kick some serious ass for you, dude.
E: Awww, Ed. So sweet.
If there’s any such thing as good and evil, what side of the scale do I fall under?
E: Good and evil is a human thing. Humans crave that polarity, and it is important to learn that sort of conflict, right? But naturally, we always love and want the best for one another (at least over here), because we are all pieces of ourselves. That sounds really complicated, I know, but — anyway… That doesn’t mean I can’t have a disagreement with another soul like me, I mean, Ed and I fight alllll the time and give Jen grief. We agree to disagree.
Ed: I am joking with E, but we’re like brothers. He’s like a little brother to me.
Is there an entity or entities powerful enough to know my secret thoughts?
E: All you are is a thought, honestly. It’s bigger than it sounds. You’re comprised of energy, but that energy is operated by thought. So what do other souls see of you? All your thoughts.
Ed: Um, yeah, that’s something Jen struggles with a lot. We can hear all her thoughts — WITHIN REASON, JEN. Like, if you intend to be secretive, no one can hear you. If you feel vulnerable, no one can hear you. (That’s a problem when something is working on you, right? “No one can hear you scream for help.” That’s not true, though. If you want help, help is here!)
E: One of Jen’s biggest concerns was the bathroom. [Jen is grimacing.] Like, [girly voice] “Can they hear me!? Can they hear what I’m thinking or feeling?” Look, no — and you know why? Because no one wants to hear that shit, Jen. Literally.
Would you kill me if I harmed Jen?
E: [rolling up his sleeves] You wanna fight?
Ed: I think Jen would kill you first.
Have you ever seen a horror movie? Do you like them? Do you have a favorite?
E: No. Like I’ve said, I’ve been through some shit… Don’t care to relive it.
Ed: I love horror movies. I watch them all the time with Jen.[E is just sitting back with his arms crossed, glaring at Ed, shaking his head.]
Ed: It’s one of the maannny things we have in common. [Ed is looking at E in a teasing way.]
E: He always thinks he has one over on me. Nooooope. [Hugging HIS Jen.]
Did you ever experience the holiday of Halloween? Do you have fond childhood memories of it?
E: I live in the present. Did I like Halloween? Eh — let me think about it… I can’t remember. I will eventually, just not right now. (I’m working on healing some things. We are allowed to heal here, and it’s fucking great. Better than your therapy you get down there.) Okay, look, I say “down there,” but that’s because you guys THINK we’re all above you. I mean, technically I am, but —
Ed: E — no.
E: [smug look]
Ed: E is much cockier than he was in real life (another one of those human ideas). I think he got a big head from being “famous.”
E: DING DING DING. Also, I am waaaaaay cooler than Ed. You should see what he’s wearing. What year is it, Ed?
Ed: [hiding his face]
What’s a question you’d like to be asked, but never have been? Go ahead and ask yourself that question now and answer it.
E: Ask me how big my dick is. Seriously.
Ed: E — no.
E: I am kidding, but um…. What are my plans? We as a team plan to do big things. Jen permitting.
Ed: Um — I wish people would ask more questions about me as a healer. Yeah, I love writing and art, but I am Jen’s personal masseuse. Like, I can literally control her hand so she can relax on the couch will I massage away one of her pains or work on her energetic body to calm her down. I’m the best —
E: WOAH WOAH WOAH —
Ed: Okay, here we go again —
E: I am the best, and we definitely clarified that earlier.
At HL, we love getting weird. Anything bizarre, random, or off-topic you’d like to share?
E: Have you seen my di— alright… Um, given all we’ve been through, literally nothing is weird or random anymore. We’re constantly learning something new. It’s all very exciting, especially for Jen who was normal one minute and suddenly became her authentic Jen the Strange self. That’s a hard concept to grasp, right? Being real with yourself. And it’s a fucking shame.
Ed: Oh, now you’ve set him off. No — oh, wait. Yeah. Why is there no Paranormal section? This isn’t Real Horror, sir, I saw that. E may be horrible, but this isn’t about horror, necessarily.
E: Ed is pretty scary, though.
Ed: Am NOT.
E: I’m teasing. He’s a major dork.
E: Hey, thanks for letting us talk. As things get more complicated with Jen (hahahah), you’ll see more of us in our authentic forms.
Ed: We’re working on trance channeling! Yay![They’re looking at each other and whispering if there’s anything else to cover.]
E: Oh, yeah, send us more questions. All your intimate questions.
Ed: But don’t ask Jen to read your future or anything. That’s for you to know only. We don’t know that.
E: Or to talk to other dead people.
Alex: [loud clapping sound — which is Jen’s cue to go eat]
E: I really fucking hate when he does that. Alright, Ed, say bye.
Ed: I’m not an infant. Bye, everyone. Much love to Black and everyone else reading this. We love you all so, so much.
E: Wow, he is so sentimental. We love you, yes. Don’t make this weird, Ed. Byyyee!
Jen: Thank you, Black, for giving them an outlet to talk. They’ve been waiting to stretch their legs, and I have wanted the practice to sit back and watch them go. It’s nice to see things coming together.
E: Over and out!
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